Showing posts with label Balance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Balance. Show all posts

14/03/2013

The Whisking


I thirst.
For the spells I have cast, to last. For the winds of constant change to carry me, fast. For time to slow down in moments of internal glow, and for it to hurry down the hourglass when lovers are apart.


I yearn.
For the negligent youth that is spent. For carefree days under Gray chunks of cloud. For illusions of friends and apparitions of enemies.  For mistakes made and lessons re-taught, and the power of will once owned. 


I seek.
For the path leading into the guts of the soul. For the blueprint of the mind’s labyrinth. For the trigger that will wind the heart to a blissful steady tick. For wax wings to soar the air, to discover the margins of the zestful sun.


I fall.
For pacts with forces yet unknown. For propagating emotions and flustering devotions. For intensely lucrative connections of a decade’s gap.

I rise.
From the depths of bleakness through abysmal kisses to a state of elation and glory.

I wonder.
Wandering beyond the fray, will the Whisking stay or will it end, will it obey or defy instead. But if hope dies last, then so will this.

26/12/2012

The Tale of Santa

Once upon a time, in a land of ice and snow and reindeer, two twin boys were born to a broken mother and a caring father. Their mother was a sad figure, depressed, and full of sorrow; she neglected her children, feeling nothing but pity for them and disgust for herself. The death of her baby daughter a few months before the twins were born had cost her her soul. She would listen to them cry, bawling out in hunger, and she would turn a blind eye, looking out the window at the frozen, white landscape. Her condition became worse as the days went by, with nothing her husband could do to help reverse the sickly process of her mourning. He could only contribute by offering an alleviating substance, an amnesiac that made her forget her woe by stewing rare violet mushrooms he found in the forest surrounding their cottage. Yet in the winters, there were none to collect and the husband felt helpless to watch his wife on her bad days. Little consolation did he find in caring for the boys.

The one was fair, the other was dark, but the colour of their locks was not the only difference between them. As they grew the fair one became kind and obedient, while the dark one was mean and defiant. The dark one was a noisy little toddler, naughty not nice, he always created a riot in the house when their father was away, spoiling food or peeing in the fireplace or hitting his brother, and he paid for it dearly every time. His mother would go mad on him, beating him until he could shed no more tears, with the fair boy watching in fear. When the father was home, the mother would just sit and stare out the window, as if in a trance, completely detached of what was going on around her, even if the dark boy threw a tantrum. The father would coax him and tell him stories in order to make him stop. The boy soon became aware that he had some power over his father’s good will, and he hated his mother for not responding to his fits in the same way, but more so for the beatings she laid on him. His hatred boiled inside of him until he began having wicked, wicked thoughts.

The more malignant the dark boy became, the more compassionate the fair boy did. He revoked his brother’s cruel nature by helping his father with the household, reading to his mother and being affectionate, making her presents although she didn’t seem to care for any of it. Her neglect only made his desire to bring a smile to her face greater. His kindness even towards his cruel brother astonished their father who was seriously worried if and how the balances were kept in that house, when he was away, hunting or bringing back firewood. The catatonic mother, the fierce dark boy and the gentle fair one.

As the seasons went by and the boys grew into young men, their mother’s condition had worsened and the fair young man strived to warm his mother’s heart. The father returned from the one day bringing back only one mushroom rather than the usual handful. There were no more. The fair young man knew what this meant. His mother would not make it through the winter. In a split second he was out the door and into the cold sunny day in search for the salvaging substance. His father ran after him, knowing the fair young man was not safe unarmed in the deep woods, as creatures made furious with hunger by the frost would pounce without hesitation to claim a fresh meal. The dark young man stayed behind, in the cottage with his mother, a mischievous grin on his face. He went near her chair and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned her head round, and he stared into those dead milky eyes. He then looked down at her worn hands, the hands that had bruised his body so many turns in her sudden rages of emotion, and his eyes flashed. He walked away from her and threw the last mushroom into the fire and returned to the kitchen, stooping over the pot of stew his brother had been making before he stormed out.

The father and son returned shortly to find the dark young man stirring the stew. The fair young man looked at his brother in dismay. The twins sensed one another; usually when one was planning something horrible, the other would try to do some damage control if he couldn’t deter his brother from causing harm, or would do something nice to balance the scales. But in this case there was nothing he could do. His twin had done the irrevocable. The father searched the table where he had left the mushroom. The dark young man gestured it was in the stew that was brewing. But the fair young man knew this was a lie. And there was nothing he could do to reverse this, or save his mother. He felt sick for what his brother was capable of and came to the conclusion that violence only breeds violence. So much was the hatred inside the dark young man. He vowed that when his mother had passed he would leave this place and all the awful memories of his evil twin behind and make himself useful to as many people as his heart could hold; he could not stand malevolence any longer.

And so he did. When the time had come he departed on the darkest day of his life, determined to fight misery and unhappiness whenever it crossed his path. He dedicated his life to learning medicine and divine meditation, and his mission was travelling the world, helping strangers, the less fortunate, the elderly, children, animals. Children were his weakest spot of all. He was welcomed in every village, in every establishment, in every inn, in every home. He spent his days as a nomad, but in happiness for he knew the value of his work, and it was recognized by all. His reputation preceded him, being called a holy man, practically a saint, the man with the greatest heart in the world, the man who cared for each and every one. It was not long since news of this ‘Santa’ reached the ears of the Wickedest Man in the world. The evil brother had become an abhorrent alchemist, a man of lethal potions and deviant spells, a soul that exuded treachery and trickery in his every breath. His pride could not bear the thought that his brother’s actions would lessen the evil he brought upon the wretched world.

The Wickedest Man began to trace Santa’s journey until he was tracked down near the North Pole. There he challenged him to a duel that is known in folklore as the Wild Hunt, a ghostly procession through the overcast sky, where the forces of Good and Evil clashed and demonic spirits attempted to consume the angelic ones. The battle carried on for an entire winter, the demons in mad pursuit of the angels across the skies, along the ground or just above it. Then, the greedy demons were no longer content with chasing spectres and began to target humans as well. It is said that on the Eve of Christmas, Evil ambushed Good and Santa was thrown off of his mighty Pegasus and plummeted to his death, sacrificing himself to save the world of this feud and to spare the lives of mankind. The Wickedest Man in the world believed he had won and called the battle off, victorious, and this satisfied his hunger for power. However, the same night Santa fell, his own sacrifice became a gift that was beyond Evil’s victory. He rose as an eternal spirit, untouchable, invincible, impervious to Evil. He resides at the top of the world, in the North Pole, looking over the children from afar. He assigns an elf to each child that is born to protect them from harm, to act as their guardian.

And so it stands until today that each Eve of Christmas, on the anniversary of the night of his fall, Santa rides his sleigh through the midnight sky, led by a dozen reindeer, and visits all the children of the world, both the naughty and the nice, leaving all of them presents for he knew, that unkindness towards a child is the worst kind of evil.        
     

06/11/2012

The Children of Leviathan

Heavy breathing, her fists clenched behind her back against the door, her legs shaking.

Eyes still shut, she took a long deep breath.

Relief.

She had just marginally been salvaged from the double wrath of the strange limbo-like wilderness, in a two-folded manifestation of the imminent Electric storm and the pack of crones prowling outside. Yet somehow she did not feel entirely safe even behind the bolted door. A false sense of security grew in the pit of her stomach. She could not be sure whether the insides of this House on the Hill held no hostility, no grudges against her, and did not seek to harm her soul. In fact, she was more certain than not that the House was long awaiting her arrival in order to begin its foul play. However, she could not afford to be overcome with panic and so she tried to calm herself by thinking, “confront each fear as it comes, not before”.

But was it fear indeed? Fear of what? Of the unknown, fear of something real, tanglible or of something abstract, of an apparition alive only in her mind? Was it fear of feeling helpless and alone, fear of feeling powerless and lost? Fear of pain, of loss, of damnation? How deep did the rabbit hole go? How much worse could her world be?She still did not know which questions were right to ask, and this scared her more than any demons or traps Leviathan placed in her path.

As she stood with her back up against the door, she opened her eyes for the first time since being inside and tried to focus on the space surrounding her. It was of massive proportions compared to the size of the House from the outside. From the exterior the House appeared to be a worn cottage, yet its interior seemed like a lordly mansion that had once seen glorious days and joyous nights.
In any case, now it was predictably bare. It was as though a living soul had not set foot in that place for centuries. There was thick Gray dust covering every surface, almost every orifice, and the furniture was covered in white sheets that had gone mouldy from the frequent storming. The air was stale, and dense and cold. Very cold. Her breath left trails of warm smoke as she breathed out.


 In and out.   


There was a monumental marble staircase opposite the entrance where she stood. It had two sets of stairs, one on the right leading up, and one on the left, leading down, which encompassed the centre piece of the landing that proudly featured a grand floor clock. It was monstrously big and went all the way up to the top of the staircase with a proportionally large face with intricate numbers and cogs. In the silence that prevailed, she could hear its ticking: Tick. Tock. It echoed across the room steadily, yet the hands were not moving. They were positively static. How peculiar. Meekly she hoped this would be the least aberrant thing she would meet whilst being there, although she already knew that to believe it would be a comforting lie. 


To her right was a large drawing room, predominantly made of wood. The booming fireplace, large enough to walk into, was indubitably the pivotal piece of the room, surrounded by the most generous library she had ever seen, built into the walls. Above the lacquered mantelpiece hung, covered in cloth, only what she could assume to be a painting. Oh how she wished she could get a fire started and warm her bones! She had not got used to the temperature yet, and the sky rumbled loudly as she approached the room to examine it more closely. As she walked away from the marble floor and into the wooden flooring of the room to the right, it creaked under her foot and she instantly remained still, listening.

Nothing.

Relief.

Armchairs, table and sofa were all covered, or so she presumed that it was those that were hiding away under the dewy sheets. A bulky chandelier graced the high-pitched ceiling, with half melted candles around its circumference and brimming with cobwebs. Closer to the fireplace she went with determination, as if it were fully ablaze, in a futile attempt to feel the illusion of some warmth. She lifted the corner of the cloth that covered the painting above. She discovered it was not a painting. It was a mirror she saw, and without a second thought she threw the cloth down and revealed it. Thunder permeated the house and the windows shook in their cases and the mirror shone bright, a cold silver flash filling the space and she covered her eyes at the sting of the the sudden light.
Eventually she glanced up: there was no reflection of herself in the glass, yet, in the far right corner she could see the pack of crones dancing in the distance, in the outdoor setting, in a circle and the Gray Wolf in the middle. She turned, disregarding her dread and defying her dismay of the abhorrent flesh thirsty crones, in exchange for a glimpse of the him; but there was nothing and no one there. It had been a figment of her imagination, or the games of the House had already started.

Facing the mirror once again, she still saw no reflection of herself. She waved at it and swayed before it, but it did not respond by imitating her. Her eyes fell on the craftsmanship of the frame; it was made of metal, ornamented with curved lines and geometric shapes. She touched one shape that reminded her of a Fleur de Lis and then took a step back as the patterns began to move and take the form of many Fleurs strangling one another. She covered the mirror again and regretted having disturbed its slumber.

Suddenly, she heard the pitter-patter of footsteps coming from the floor above; and laughter, of children, innocent giggles and playful shouting. It made her feel incredibly uneasy as she imagined a group of children sharing moments of merriment in this strange house. It cannot be true or genuine, it cannot be real. There must be a catch, there must be a reason why the House played such charades on her, and she was bound to find out.

Up the right staircase she strode, and as her left hand touched the black marble bannister, she felt the sensation on her fingers changing, from dry to wet, from smooth to scaly, but always cold; cold as stone. Looking down at it was no longer cold stone but cold flesh instead, black scaly snake flesh that squirmed and wriggled under her touch. She gasped as her eyes followed the body of the Basilisk up to its raised head, a triangular source of lethal venom. His eye were slits of fiery orange, and his gaze mesmerized her as she continued to go up the marble steps slowly, coaxed by the soft hissing of the King of Serpents. As she reached the top, he snapped his slithering tail like a whip and her consciousness returned to the cold reality that she had momentarily lapsed from.

Without looking back at him, she entered a dark corridor that had wooden doors on either side. The series of doors seemed unending and she walked without purpose, gradually getting used to the dim light, until she felt a strong sense of destination to approach a specific one. "29" was the number on the door in intricate metal design, similar to the Fleur de Lis' on the mirror in the drawing room.
It clicked open before her hand touched the door knob, and kept opening as she moved forward to reveal a classroom. Desks, chairs, and school bags were all in place, as if the children had just gone out to the playground at break time. On the blackboard "A a, B b, C c..." and on the teacher's desk a bell and a bitten apple; a sweet sticky taste filled her mouth.  


The classroom joined the room next door with an internal door, yet in contrast to the one before this one was fully made of metal. It was marked "Exams in Progress" and the lettering on it were not curved, but jagged. She heard the laughter again, coming from beyond the door. This time the door did no magically open telepathically, she had to push hard as the children's laughter grew louder. She managed to get it open although snagging her left wrist at the steel latch in her effort, and bright blood trickled down her hand and onto her gown.
Entering, she was faced with a sight that turned her blood so thick, she thought the cut would not drip anymore. Rows of children lying on examination tables, wired up to measuring devices, in a comatose condition, yet breathing. No laughter, no giggles.


Tick. Tock: The heartbeats of the Children of Leviathan echoed in harmony.

Tick. Tock: They all lay motionless and still, feeding the Beast their dreams.


Tick. Tock: Ticking away to the rhythm of the great big clock downstairs...

She could not bear this any longer; acid tears burned her eyes but as she was about to turn and exit, she heard a screech like nails scraping the blackboard. She shuddered. She left the exam room in a state of shock and horror.
"A a, B b, C c..." had been erased from the board. In its place was written in child-like handwriting "Lux ex Tenebris" (1). She ran out into the dark corridor.
The Basilisk had not moved, and was still where she had left him, looking wickedly smug and disdainfully pleased with himself. He started to hiss euphorically as she approached and she avoided his stare as she felt more and more vulnerable drawing closer to him. Her soul felt utterly exposed reaching the top to the stairs and she heard his evil
whisper "Facilis descensus Averni" (2), ordering her to descend. She then remembered that there was a second part to the staircase, this time leading down.



(1) Light through Darkness
(2) The descent to Hell is easy
 
















11/10/2012

The House on the Hill.


Voltaire - To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth.
Her hands dug deep into the moist and dense soil. It had only just stopped raining, and the ground was so wet, she could feel the water drench her clothes at her knees as she sat on all fours at the base of the hill. The great tree that she had taken refuge under, to sit out yet another Electric Storm, had wept; its old bark had cracked and tears of resin had trickled down to its base. She had an awkward sense that it was tears of resentment, and rushed to her feet. She touched its resentful resin, and it burned to her touch. Sucking on her sore finger she thought she heard a voice: a child’s voice, coming from the base of the tree, no, from beneath the roots, rising up and reverberating through the bark's cracks and resin pus.

“Hurry”.

The old voices had stopped since she had crossed the river. This voice was of a new order, sounding innocent yet compelling enough for her to pay serious heed. She knew she had no place there, amidst the strange nature, the twisted nature of past, of longing, of yearning, there, deep in the Forest of Forever. She knew it even before she decided to cross beyond the silver river and penetrate the unknown North, but the Gray Wolf left her little choice. He had seized her thoughts, entering her mind at his will, during the dead of the night, and she often could see through his auric eyes, images of frustration, of chase, of want, of desire. She would wake each time thirsty and hungry to venture into the Forest to seek the questions, to which she already knew the answers.

“Hurry, follow the Moon”.

She was still under the weeping tree, lost in thought, remembering the eyes, the golden blazing eyes, and her legs felt like lead. Heavy and almost comatose.

“Hurry, follow the Moon to the House”.

She looked up, between the tree’s thick canopy. She could not see the Moon. She needed to see its command, through its celestial smirk, its behest. With great effort, she took three steps forward placing herself barely into the clearing. The familiar moon shone down on her in all its lunar glory and showed her the path that started at the bottom of the hill.
She felt the bell of urgency ringing through her body and so started to trek up the slope. In some un-human way, she had reached the top with astonishing speed. She did not even need to catch her breath, and she realized to her surprise that at the top of that hill there was no breeze, not even the slightest sensation of wind, she could hardly feel the air around her. It was as if she was in a vacuum and nothing moved. Feeling queasy, she looked down from the precipice at which she stood; she could see no ground, no weeping tree, only a most peculiar thick fog that made her shiver as she could see eerie dark figures dancing in it, hissing and whispering. She did not recall any fog when she was at the bottom of the hill. In fact the air was perfectly clear as she had looked up at the Moon only a little while ago.
The nature around her at the top of the hill was dead; lifeless, livid and diseased. She looked up at the Moon again for council to see that its shade had darkened into a silvery crimson, and she felt uneasy. She must hurry.

She turned and faced away from the foggy abyss below, and in her sight lay what she could gather as being the back of the House on the Hill.

Unlike the contrasting state of the nature in the scenery before her, the House was very much alive. The walls shook and the windows fell into a sudden tremor at each step she took closer to it. She lay still for a while, completely uncertain as to what she was to do. Where was the Gray Wolf? Why was the Moon testing her? What was the Question? The Question now was whether she would approach with boldness in her heart or face the Crimson Moon’s wrath. The Electric Storm would soon come and there was no weeping tree to protect her from its strike. She dared not plunge into the fathomless forlorn nothingness that took the place of what was the bottom of the Hill. Now it appeared that she had no choice.
Biting her lip she took forceful strides towards the House, and as she drew nearer, its image swayed and evaporated at every orifice as vicious vines strangled it from every angle. And so it shook and shuddered, window panes clashing and tiles from the roof tumbling down. Yet she held her pace with tears in her throat and walked round its eastern wing to get a better look for the entrance. On the eastern side, the House seemed to have changed. It was steady, unmoving, and clean. Still old but clean and it reminded her of a time when houses like that were the norm to be surrounding her, and the people she once knew having made their homes and lives therein. She felt wistful and the sentiment built up inside her choking in her throat once again. She kept going until she could see the other face of the House that boasted the main entrance.
 
The sky started to scorch. The lighting started to well up in the clouds. The Moon’s veins pulsated bloody red and its previous silver glow had paled and waned as the impending Electric Storm was imminent. A chant; a deep trance-like chant filled her ears in a tongue she did not recognize, in voices she could not discern and immediately her mind raced back to the torment of nightfall, again and again when the voices came to taunt her, to drive her insane. Amidst the shrewd dry shrubbery in front of the House there appeared silhouettes that slowly took form. For a second she cringed at the idea that these were none other than the eerie figures of the fog below. Then she saw clearly. She saw women, old, wild, weathered women, about half-a-dozen, some scantily clad, others stark naked in a revelry of deep mantra, moving in a wide circle, holding hands. She watched them as they chanted louder and louder until her ears bled at the abominations being uttered. Though she could not comprehend, her guts quivered at the waking of something evil. Something she should not become witness to. With her back against the wall of the House, she moved sideways, quickly and silently, closer to the main door. Her feet were still on the barren ground and she dreaded the moment she had to step onto the old wooden floorboards of the porch. Would they crack under her tread? Would it break their wicked transfixion, and if it did, would they swoop like a flock of rabid harpies on her, under the auspices of the Blood Moon? And the question that burned her skull time and time again: where was the Gray Wolf?

She must take the chance, the Storm was upon them, and she begged in her heart of hearts that the door to the House would open at first attempt. It must! Two steps on the crackling floorboards, she closed her eyes shut and twisted the door knob. It latched open at once and she pushed her weight against its dated resistance to leverage its alliance. Chilling shrieks and resonating thunder belted as she slammed it shut behind her, her eyes still tightly closed. She was inside.